Joseph Alika Kealoha-Lopez

My beautiful baby boy was born silent, sleeping and beautiful on November 16, 2017 when I was 35 weeks 4 days pregnant.

It was a Thursday morning and we were headed to my OB appointment. I checked in, waited a while, then got called in from my nurse. She took my vitals then I waited for the doctor.

He came in the room and I told him that the night before I had experienced some chest pains and I was wondering if it was anything to worry about. By the way about a week and a half ago I had high blood pressure out of nowhere and was taking pills for it.

The doctor said that we'll put you on a 24 hour watch just to make sure everything is all right. So we went to the ER, checked in and got wheeled up to labor and delivery. Got into my room and changed into my gown. The nurse went to put on the monitor for baby's heartbeat but said she would be right back, she was having a hard time finding his heartbeat.

The doctor came in with an ultrasound machine, put it on my belly and then and there I got the worst news of my life. I'm so sorry but we can't seem to find your baby's heartbeat. They left and came back with a specialist and a more high tech ultrasound machine. The results were still the same. My son had died in my womb. I sat there in tears as my world fell apart, my baby boy who I held to almost full term wasn't alive anymore.


I'm gonna skip all the details and just say that I was diagnosed with eclampsia, had a placenta abruption, did an emergency cesarean, and was on all kinds of medication.

I woke the next day wanting to hold my baby but terrified and scared at the same time. I didn't know what to expect and how he would look. But no matter what I needed to hold him.

When the nurse put my baby into my arms it looked as though he would be opening them any time now, that maybe he could just be sleeping. The only thing was that he was a shade of blue and was cold to the touch. But he was the most precious baby in the world to me, and even now I still cry and wish he was here with me.


My baby was born 4 pounds 10.8 ounces, he was 18 inches long and was born at 3:04 in the afternoon. While other babies learn to walk mines will learn to fly. I love you, Joseph.